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How to build motivation in your child.

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_custom_heading text=”How to build motivation in your child.” font_container=”tag:h1|text_align:left|color:%23ffa02f” google_fonts=”font_family:Lato%3A100%2C100italic%2C300%2C300italic%2Cregular%2Citalic%2C700%2C700italic%2C900%2C900italic|font_style:400%20regular%3A400%3Anormal”][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]By Victoria Bagnall, Co Founder, Connections in [/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]Every parent wants their child to succeed, whether it’s with their school work, socialising or in developing general life skills. Naturally as parents we often hold high expectations for our children and lack of motivation can be a huge barrier to their success. Your child’s motivation to learn is encouraged by the experiences that you provide for them. In other words, you play a vital role in fostering motivation in your child.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_custom_heading text=”Why is motivation important?” font_container=”tag:h3|text_align:left|color:%23ffa02f” google_fonts=”font_family:Lato%3A100%2C100italic%2C300%2C300italic%2Cregular%2Citalic%2C700%2C700italic%2C900%2C900italic|font_style:400%20regular%3A400%3Anormal”][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]
Motivation is essential for self-development and for maintaining well-being during periods of rapid change where we need to adapt quickly*. It interacts with our executive functioning and explains why we set goals, make plans, start tasks and strive for achievement. Research with children has also shown that motivation is one of the most important factors in determining school success**.

So, how can you build motivation in your child? Based on psychological research, there is now a set of science-based approaches that can be used to build motivation and support learning during development.[/vc_column_text][vc_custom_heading text=”Let them decide.” font_container=”tag:h3|text_align:left|color:%23ffa02f” google_fonts=”font_family:Lato%3A100%2C100italic%2C300%2C300italic%2Cregular%2Citalic%2C700%2C700italic%2C900%2C900italic|font_style:400%20regular%3A400%3Anormal”][vc_column_text]Children are more motivated when they have self-determination to complete a task or activity that is personally meaningful. For example, start a conversation with them to set the goals for the day or decide how a task is going to be carried out. By letting them make meaningful choices and supporting them, this will not only keep them engaged and motivated for longer but they will also learn that they are capable of initiating their own learning.[/vc_column_text][vc_custom_heading text=”Challenge them…just enough!” font_container=”tag:h3|text_align:left|color:%23ffa02f” google_fonts=”font_family:Lato%3A100%2C100italic%2C300%2C300italic%2Cregular%2Citalic%2C700%2C700italic%2C900%2C900italic|font_style:400%20regular%3A400%3Anormal”][vc_column_text]

Like all of us, children are motivated to work towards achievable goals. Create levels of challenge according to their current capabilities and give them feedback on their performance. If a task is too easy or too hard they will lose motivation. Make it fun by turning it into a game. For example, you could switch roles and let your child step into the role of the educator and explain concepts as the teacher. This works very well for science subjects! You could also plot their progress on to a graph and challenge them to improve on yesterday’s progress. Remember, the more they relish the challenge, the more they will persist and not give up. If this brings them success, this will build their internal motivation which will lead to more success!

[/vc_column_text][vc_custom_heading text=”Praise the effort rather than the outcome” font_container=”tag:h3|text_align:left|color:%23ffa02f” google_fonts=”font_family:Lato%3A100%2C100italic%2C300%2C300italic%2Cregular%2Citalic%2C700%2C700italic%2C900%2C900italic|font_style:400%20regular%3A400%3Anormal”][vc_column_text]

When we praise children for their effort this helps them learn that even if they fall short they can use it as an opportunity to reflect, improve and develop new approaches. Say your son or daughter performed well on a piece of school work, don’t just share your excitement. It is better to praise them for the process by asking them what they did to achieve it and how they did it. This will motivate them to work hard and they will be more likely to believe that they can achieve anything they put their mind to. This process will support the development of your child’s ability to reflect, an executive function skill that is essential for more complex and systematic thinking.

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Foster a growth mindset
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A growth mindset revolves around the belief that we can improve our intelligence, ability and performance with effort and with the right strategies. Children with a growth mindset have a willingness to confront challenges and view failures as an opportunity for growth. As children can often avoid trying new things when they experience negative outcomes, it is important to have a discussion with your child that focuses on what they can do to improve next time. Encourage reflection by talking about a time that you fell short and what you did to improve. Ask them questions, discuss new strategies and emphasise the importance of practice. At Connections in Mind we particularly like the WWW (What Went Well) and EBI (Even Better If) approaches which are really positive but also support growth. By doing this you will be supporting the development of a growth mindset within your child. Not only will this increase their motivation and encourage them to take on new challenges independently, research has also shown that a growth mindset is strongly associated with greater happiness and achievement in life***. Fostering a growth mindset in your child will be one of the greatest contributions you can make towards building their motivation, and their success! Following decades of research Carol Dweck, a world-renowned psychologist, has a bestselling book that explains more on how to foster a growth mindset to achieve success professionally, academically, interpersonally and in general daily life. You can find the link to her book here. You can also download our free growth mindset poster here to add to your child’s workspace!


Does all of this sound interesting – these are the fundamental underpinnings of our Connected Minds Parenting Course which has recently moved online to our new online learning portal. This evidenced based approach to parenting, focuses on empathy and connection whilst building a shared language and set of tools to overcome executive function challenges at home. Hear from the course facilitator Imogen Moore Shelley in her informative video.


At Connections in Mind, our executive function coaches combine their own experience, expertise and strategies with the latest research to create bespoke coaching programmes tailored to individual client needs. Our coaches are available to help your children, and even yourself, overcome challenges with motivation and executive functioning. If your child or yourself have difficulties with starting tasks, prioritisation, time-management or even just staying focused for longer periods of time, a coach can help you develop new strategies so that you and/or your child can continue to succeed.


Our Executive Function Adventures programme is a fun and engaging programme for children who are struggling with executive functions at home or with school work. They will work one to one with an executive function coach and will learn new strategies but in a fun, story-telling way! Watch our video here to find out more! If you would like any further information about any of our coaching services then please book a free discovery call with Sarah, our Client Services Manager today.


*Psychological needs, motivation and well-being: A test of self-determination theory across multiple domains. (Milyavskaya & Koesnter, 2011).

** Gender differences in school success: What are the roles of students’ intelligence, personality and motivation? (Spinath, Eckert, Steinmayr, 2014).

*** The neuroscience of growth mindset and intrinsic motivation. (Ng, 2018).


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